I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize