I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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