what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
