did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Randomize
