Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
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He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
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dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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