i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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