I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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