I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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