she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
