She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
