I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
only if we run a train.
done.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
