seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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