i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
