I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize