I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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