I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
