oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Randomize
