i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The beer is more important than you right now.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.