I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
