Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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