where does the pee come out of this thing
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
