Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
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I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
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I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
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