hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
