it hurts more in the daytime
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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