Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
