Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
