I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
