I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Randomize
