She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
