I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
