Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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