You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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