Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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