he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize