oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
