I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
cat food counts as protein by the way
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize
