dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
