Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
