found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
