so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
