it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
