did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
