You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
