a queef is a wish your heart makes.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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