Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
