my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize