He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
