Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Still dying that you shit outside
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize