just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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