So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
