It's Friday. Sex?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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