Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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