After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
