Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
