Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
