I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the day after is always just damage control
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
