he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
