whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
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