New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
