8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
