I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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