I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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