there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
