just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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